Akwesasne Mohawk Territory
In January 2023, I traveled to photograph Madi and her family for the Invincible project—documenting young parent families working with a non-profit called Justice + Joy, National Collaborative, IMPACT – Invincible Mamas Pushing Action & Change Together. It was the weekend of my daughter’s birthday—January 15th—and I was far from home, about to spend days with another mother and her six-year-old son. What started as a last-minute trip to a small town in upstate New York became one of the most transformative experiences of my life. Here’s what happened.
Sunday: Arrival in Massena
I woke up this morning at 5am, ready to show up for my morning practices. By 6am the alarm on my phone went off wishing me a good morning and letting me know it was 17 degrees outside in Massena, NY.
It was Sunday afternoon when I arrived on an 8-seater plane into the Massena International airport. My small photo bag weighing about 34 pounds was strapped into its very own seat at the back of the plane. I made friends along the way who shared with me where they were going and that they had ridden this plane before. The ride was smooth and thankfully we arrived half an hour early. My plans were to stay from Sunday until Wednesday.
It was a last-minute request of mine to check in with Madi, she had emailed me to say she heard I was capturing young parent families working with Impact and how excited she was to participate. One day out of the blue I remembered Madi’s email and asked Carrie to check in. By the time Carrie confirmed yes, Madi was available and I could go photograph her. She had already booked my travel and we had only a few days before my arrival to confirm an Airbnb and a car rental.
We couldn’t find a car rental company using larger websites like Expedia, and every day leading up to my travels I would call the local Enterprise too late to speak with anyone at the location. I was able to connect with someone at a local shop who informed me that yes, they did have Ubers and yes, they did have taxi service options. Best bet for a car rental would be the local Enterprise. Knowing I was headed to a small town I did my best to prepare, but really I am fortunate that it all worked out like a perfectly orchestrated symphony.
Finding My Way
I waited for my luggage near the entrance of the airport with two security guards and some of the passengers while I logged into Uber and tried to secure a car. A tall, skinny man came and brought in my luggage. He later introduced himself as Euge, short for Eugene. “My friends call me Eeuuuuhuge,” he said, sounding more like “huge” in Jamaican patois.
I looked up at the security guards and asked about Uber. They said, “Oh you’re not going to find an Uber—they do not come out here, definitely not on a Sunday.” She pointed with her chin to the board with a list of numbers and names of hotels and two taxi companies. “North Star might be closed today since it’s a Sunday but you can try Zero Taxi—the one listed with no area code. Yeah, I think it might be 315 area code, try that.”
I dialed the number and a voice answered—”zerotaxithisisjohn.” All one word, no inhales or exhales in between.
I told him where I was and where I was headed. He said best to call another car company that’s closer to town as it was a further distance for him and he’d have to do a triangle which would cost $120. With little internet, one of the guards helped me find the number to the other company, and when it went to voicemail, I quickly realized that I didn’t have many options. I called John with Zero Taxi back and asked for him to please come pick me up, gave him my credit card number over the phone, and he told me he would be there in 40 minutes.
With deep gratitude in my heart for a way to make it to my next location, I stood there with all of my bags, remembering that not having a rental car until Monday meant I’d have no way to pick up food for dinner and breakfast. John said he could help by stopping by a local gas market in the town I was staying in—hopefully it would be open on a Sunday. I then searched markets near me and called the first option. “Hi, do you carry fresh ginger? Do you have fresh organic greens?” Lucky for me they did, and that’s where John took me and patiently waited in the car as I navigated the aisles and found all the items I needed. Walking past a little boy pushing a shopping cart filled with soda, his toothless grin and full frame too young to be strolling around the market on his own.
Sunday Evening: Alone in the Airbnb
While waiting for John, I sat there posting photos on Instagram. Euge caught my eye and we began to talk. First slowly as I paced my full attention from my phone and then back to him. The guards were on their way out and seemed like everyone was gone.
“I call this place METH-ina,” he said with a chuckle. “You wouldn’t want to ride an Uber here—they’ll stop at a meth lab to pick up what they need and then drop you off at your location.”
I took a deep inhale and exhaled with a smile. “Where are you coming from?” he asked.
“Well, I now live in Florida but originally, I’m from NYC.”
He told me about his travels and that he locks up the airport at about 7:30pm when the last flight comes in. “Wow,” I said, “seems like there aren’t many options if your plane gets stuck here for whatever reason, huh?!” I looked in his direction.
“Yup,” he said. “I try to tell people when they come here these are the best options on the board. You’re lucky he’s coming to pick you up. Last weekend someone called on a Sunday and he wasn’t available.”
We talked about the local markets. I felt ready to go so I put my jacket on and that’s when Euge said, “Yup, your ride’s here.” I thanked him for his hospitality and rolled my bags out as he held the door open for me.
“Are you Judith from Judithrae.com?” John asked with a smile as I loaded myself and my bags into the back of his car.
“Yes I am,” I said with a smile.
He asked what I was doing in town and wondered if there were any big weddings happening. I could tell he took a quick peek at my website. I asked him if we could stop at the local market I had called ahead, and he said “I don’t see a problem with that”. He waited as I ran in, rolling my photo bag along for the ride. Minutes later I reappeared in the parking lot with my reusable canvas bag packed with ginger, organic broccoli, and a pack of frozen Annie’s mac and cheese.
“Is that your photo bag?” he asked as I thanked him for waiting and made my way back into the car.
“Yes it is,” I said. Realizing that he may think I had a slight trust issue—I say slight because all of my other bags were left in his care—I explained how I made it a habit to bring it with me everywhere.
We talked about the project I was working on and he told me a bit about his wife and kids. He said if I needed a lift to Enterprise tomorrow he’d be happy to take me for $65. Dropping me and all three pieces of luggage at the steps of my Airbnb, I thanked him and made my way in.
Realizing there were no curtains or shades to close at night, leaving me exposed to the outside world while in the kitchen area at night, made me send a quick text to the hosts. Commenting on the pretty space and thankful to stay here. Would feel safer with curtains. Yes, she was looking for a pair of roman shades for future stays.
I then felt the fear of being there alone. I put on my favorite jazz and began to settle in. Unpacking and putting on my oils, igniting calm within. Reminding myself I am safe. Thinking through all of the possibilities and remembering there are people who know where I am and an easy way to track my steps. For example, if John sent someone to come kill me, I had my monopod to defend myself and now is not my time.
I made myself a magnesium drink and called my husband Alex. Lucky he picked up and his loving voice soothed my soul as I heated up my mac and cheese, figured out how to turn on the TV and digital fireplace. That night it was challenging to fall asleep as the newness of the space and sounds kept me on high alert. I found myself playing one meditation after the other, reminding myself to calm my mind and focus on the steps being offered in the audio. I’m not sure when I finally gave in to sleep but I’m so thankful I did.
The moment I hung up the phone I felt it—people are praying for me. I felt it deep in my soul. A depth of gratitude I could not explain but only feel as I stood by myself in the Airbnb with high barn ceilings in the kitchen, looking out the window at the home across the street—logs of firewood neatly stacked and tears streaming down my face. In Waddington, NY—city girl used to options and here, not many to get around.
Monday Morning: Trust Building
A sweet voice with the sounds of Jamaica helped me secure my Enterprise car rental over the phone. When I called the local Enterprise, it was Ted who answered (reminding me of our pup Teddy B ). I told him I was so happy to hear his name was Ted as it was also the name of someone I love dearly, and I reminded myself that I am truly taken care of.
I called the other car company in town just to see how much it would be for them to take me to Enterprise, and when a cold voice replied $120, I immediately called John asking if he could pick me up at 10:30 to pick up my rental. We never spoke about a price, but when it came time to swiping my card he honored the quote he gave me the day prior. When I asked about a tip he said he’s the owner and that’s great for the employees.
At exactly 10:30am he arrived at my doorstep, prompt and ready to go. I had all my things packed and shoes on. I made my way into my seat thankful it all worked out and praising him for being trustworthy and kind. As I looked out the window I asked, “John, would you mind if I rolled down the window to take some photos as you drive?”
With that he put his skully on and there we were—driving towards Enterprise, windows down, going about 60 miles an hour in the winter cool air of about 28 degrees. I had twelve photos to take and each clang of a shutter lifted me and him with joy, excitement, and gratitude.
“It’s an old film camera!” I belted out so he could hear me over the wind.
I could see the excitement in his eyes as he explained the history of the town and his own past love for photography. I realized I had made a new friend and sharing my passion with a bit of cool air inconvenience ignited something special in him too.
Tuesday: A Day with Madi
Lokennoronhawi “she’s bringing the rain” — her Mohawk name. Her loved ones also call her Madi.
Yesterday our day started at 11am. I arrived at Grandma White’s to spend the day with Madi and her six-year-old son James. Leaving my rental car behind, I sat in the passenger seat and immediately pinned a recording device on Madi’s jacket (with her permission), knowing she had a lot to share and was ready for me to record.
With James sitting in the back, we headed first to a school similar to the one James attends, then to Madi’s mother’s forever home to pick up Corlynn, her younger sister. We drove to the woods to forage cedar, and Madi explained what her grandparents had shared with her: any medicine you need can be found in nature. Even the snow is healing.
James and Corlynn waited for us in the car. Madi and I walked towards the trees and she showed me how to identify the pine. Deeper we went, with snow calf-height. She found a cedar, took out her pouch, and offered dried leaves from a tobacco plant she grew. Then, clipping cedar to be hung for protection. Once dried it can be used for smudging or for tea.
From the back, James said he was hungry. Madi ordered a pizza pie to her mom’s house, enough for everyone including me.
Crossing Into Akwesasne
We crossed the border into Akwesasne Mohawk Territory, and Madi held everyone’s ID. With confidence, she spoke to the border agent. We headed to her mother’s store where Madi pointed out the items she’s made. I found a pair of yellow beaded circle earrings with mirrors in the middle, made by Corlynn, a braided mustard-colored pouch made by Madi, and a pair of moccasins made by a cousin.
Shortly after, Madi’s father, stepmother, three-month-old sister (who is waiting to be named), and four-year-old brother Lashakayute—whose name means “he is the future”—met us.
The boys were happy to see each other. James came back from the store next door, eager to spend the money grandma gave him, his hands full of Laffy Taffy. “Here, I bought this for you,” he said, handing me one.
“Thank you,” I smiled and put it in my coat pocket. Then, noticing Lashakayute didn’t have one, I handed it back to James. “How about one for your uncle?”
Yes—the boys were now happily enjoying their candy. We headed to the nearby park. Madi turned to me wondering, “Can we find a spot for photos?”
I looked around at the trees and buildings. A playground that the boys were running to—covered in snow—waist deep. Madi’s dad said, “Let’s take photos by our house. We have more trees and a lake.” He said he would wait for the boys while he smoked his cigarette.
We headed to their house for photos. Her other brothers and sisters were jumping off the school bus, greeted by my camera for family photos.
When it was time for me to leave, I held up a peace sign. Four-year-old Lashakayute, whose name means “he is the future,” returned the sign while looking right at me and said, “Onen ki wahe konnoronkhwa.”
Translation: “Farewell, I love you”
Literal Translation: “Now then, I agree… I am giving you my medicine”
Onen ki wahe refers to a farewell, but not as a final “goodbye”—more so as “it is agreed, another time we will see each other.”
Konnorohnkhwa refers to showing affection but not in a romanticized sense. This is a consideration of sending positive energy, and acknowledging how precious the person is to you.
Wednesday: Heading Home
I am so happy and ready to be headed home, and I look forward to the day I return as I leave a better person for having journeyed here to Akwesasne Mohawk Territory.
Tears gather and sit at my eyelids, filled with love and memories I will cherish deep in my heart. I drove this morning first to Potsdam for freshly baked scones (for Alex and I) from the local co-op and then to the airport, knowing time is on my side and hoping I’ll arrive at the perfect time. It was January 15th, 2023—my daughter’s 30th birthday—and I was heading home carrying medicine I didn’t know I needed.
Remembering a feeling or a moment shared brings about a stream or a well of tears. A realization of words spoken, a deeper understanding of life, of nature, connection, appreciation, energy, trust, respect, friendships, family, an inheritance. How we walk this earth. How we speak, how we hold ourselves. An exchange.
From me to Madi:
Madi, I am deeply moved by our time together and I appreciate you so much. Thank you for having me and sharing your life with me to be photographed for this young parent project. What an honor to know you and walk together. I am wishing you much success in all you do ☀️ Holding you all in my heart. You are a legend Madi. Love you sister .
From Madi to me:
I am so glad I got to share my life, my family, my community and my ancestors with you. Niawenkowa (great thanks). Forever in our hearts. You left a wonderful mark on my loved ones. Safe travels.
The Invincible project documents young parent families making an impact in their communities. Through photography and storytelling, we witness their strength, their traditions, and the medicine they carry forward.
Reflection: Going a Little Further Into the Water
This journey to Akwesasne was one of many across the country. With the Invincible project, I traveled nationwide. I met, photographed, and audio-recorded young mothers and their families who advocate for young mothers and their families.
I found myself in new spaces again and again, feeling the fear of being there on my own. Finding ways to make myself feel comfortable while staying in unfamiliar places. Figuring out how to stay healthy despite constant travel and keep my practices to help ground me in confidence each day.
I’m forever moved by this project and have thankfully found time to sit with the words I wrote and share parts of my journey with you.
I’m reminded of David Bowie’s quote:
“If you feel safe in the area you’re working in, you’re not working in the right area. Always go a little further into the water than you feel you’re capable of being in. Go a little bit out of your depth. And when you don’t feel that your feet are quite touching the bottom, you’re just about in the right place to do something exciting.”
Akwesasne taught me that the medicine we need often lives just beyond our comfort zone—in a small airport with no Uber, in a kitchen with no curtains, in the woods with snow up to our calves, in the space between goodbye and onen ki wahe.
The exciting work happens when we can’t quite feel the bottom beneath our feet.
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